


The Care And Feeding Of Tjelvar Stornsnasson, Or, What I Did Last Summer, by Edward Keystone, aged 27

by Bittercape (bittercape), ExLibrisCraux



Category: Rusty Quill Gaming (Podcast)
Genre: Anal Plug, Chastity Device, Cock Cages, Epistolary, Frottage, Light Dom/sub, M/M, Oral Sex, Rating May Change, Relationship Advice, Rope Bondage, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2020-11-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:41:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 10,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24253768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bittercape/pseuds/Bittercape, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExLibrisCraux/pseuds/ExLibrisCraux
Summary: A series of letters on relationship advice between Edward Keystone, Paladin of Apollo; and Oscar Wilde, Gentleman of leisure.
Relationships: Edward Keystone/Tjelvar Stornsnasson, Zolf Smith/Oscar Wilde
Comments: 209
Kudos: 136





	1. Chapter 1

Dear mr. Wilde,

I hope this letter finds you in good health and spirits.

I think you may be aware that Tjelvar and I have reached an understanding. But I have a few questions and I thought you seemed friendly and also like a man who knows about things like this and I hoped I might ask you. I don’t want to be a bother and if you don’t have time to help me I understand, but I really hope you can help me. Apollo thinks you are a good sort even though you’re not one of his.

See, I am going to be frank, because I find that easier all round. Tjelvar is happy to hold my hand and even kiss me when nobody is there to see. And even though I’m not the smartest man, at least not compared to the likes of you and Tjelvar, I know that there’s usually more to a relationship than that. Is there something I’m supposed to say or do? Is he maybe shy? 

I don’t know what to do, mr. Wilde, and I hope you don’t think me too forward in writing to you. If I am too forward, or if you don’t have the time, you don’t have to answer really, but I hope you will.

Respectfully,

_Edward Keystone_


	2. Chapter 2

Dear Mr. Keystone,

My lord, it was a pleasure and an honour to receive your letter, and I am flattered that you feel I am in a position to offer you assistance with your shall we say, increasing involvement with Mr. Stornsnasson.

Firstly, please allow me to commend you on your excellent taste. Mr. Stornsnasson is a remarkable individual suited to you in every way, and I am thrilled to have it confirmed that you are indeed exploring a relationship with one another.

To your main point: I suppose I do have some little experience in the various directions a relationship may travel. I must ask - and do forgive me, my lord, if this question seems impertinent, but I agree that frankness is the wisest course of action in matters such as these - how  ~~explic~~ - ~~detai~~ - practical would you prefer my advice to be? I am equally as proficient at oblique reference as I am bald description, and shall defer to my lord’s desires in this matter.

I do not in any way consider your letter, or its contents, too forward, and I anticipate a productive discourse in aid of your pursuit of romance.  Please consider me:

Respectfully yours,

_ O. Wilde _


	3. Chapter 3

Dear Mr. Wilde,

Thank you for your kindness in answering my letter and  ~~acku aqui ~~ accepting my request for help. I did not intend empty flattery and assure you my request is genuine.

I know, though, Tjelvar is so handsome and so smart and so nice! I don’t know what I did to deserve him really, but he’s just so great. And wicked smart!  ~~ Oh I already said that  ~~ Anyway. I would like it if you could write as plainly as possible. Tjelvar has read some of your poetry to me, and it is very beautiful but I’m not sure I always get what you want to say, you know? But Tjelvar says it’s good and he has a lovely voice for reading and I really like it when he reads those long sentences you write, it’s so pretty. So I guess it’s all for the best. 

I hope I’m not being rude for saying that plain and practical is the best in this case. But I want to be sure I do what you tell me to in the right way. And I’m really very glad you want to help.

Yours, gratefully

_ Edward Keystone _


	4. Chapter 4

Dear Mr. Keystone,

I have no doubt your request was genuine- I know you to be a man who understands the importance of being earnest. I'm pleased that my work has contributed to the pleasure of your time spent with your beau.

As you quite reasonably request, I shall endeavour to write as plainly as possible going forward. Should I lapse and provide instruction which is unclear, please do not hesitate to tell me so!

So then, plainly: I understand you wish to ~~encourage Mr. Stornsnasson toward more physical expressions of affection~~ \- start doing more than kissing, correct? If this is the case- and again, forgive me if this seems impertinent, but it is essential that I understand your position clearly- ~~to what degree are you already aware~~ \- how much do you already know about these things? And Mr. Stornsnasson- do you know ~~how much experience he brings to bear~~ \- how much he already knows?

I shall have more practical advice for you in my next letter, once I understand at what point the pair of you are starting.

I look forward to hearing from you again, and remain:

Inquisitively yours,

_O. Wilde_


	5. Chapter 5

Dear Mr. Wilde,

Thank you for your kind consideration. I am really so glad I can ask you about this stuff because I really don't know what to do. 

Yesterday I maybe got a bit too eager and tried to open Tjelvar's shirt when we were kissing and then Mr. Carter came in to the kitchen and said something, I don't remember exactly what because I wasn't paying attention to him right then, but I remember he was teasing. And I don't think he meant anything by it really, he's just like that, Mr. Carter. Well you know him so you know how he is. And I think maybe he's a bit on edge too as Cdr. Barnes has been away now for close to two weeks. But anyway, later, when we were kissing again, Tjelvar kept holding my hands so I couldn't get to his buttons even though we were all alone and the door was closed. What does it mean?

Oh yes you asked. You know of my family, I know, and even though I don't like to think about it much there were some good things. Mr. Tailor the farmer, and it's a little strange he didn't want to be a tailor when that is is name, isn't it? Anyway. Mr. Tailor's farm was part of my family's estate and I sometimes went over there ~~when my father~~ when I wanted to be out of the way. And I got to see both the tupping and the lambing, so I know which parts goes where. Mr. Tailor also had two rams called Harold and Rupert who liked each other more than the ewes and even though they couldn't make any lambs Mr. Tailor liked them and let them stay on his farm together. He was a nice man. ~~I wonder how he is~~

Aside from that I have fooled around a bit during my time in the temple. Apollo doesn't mind that even if some of the other gods do, or so I have heard at least. But the thing is I haven't had a relationship before where I want to make sure I do it right, you know? Tjelvar is very important to me and I want to marry him someday if he would like that. So I don't want to do anything wrong. 

I don't know about Tjelvar though. Should I ask? 

Thank you again for helping me, Mr. Wilde.

In gratitude,

_Edward Keystone_


	6. Chapter 6

Dear Mr. Keystone,

 ~~Firstly, tell that obstructive nitwit Carter to keep well out of your busin~~ -

 ~~Carter and Barnes are still making a go of it? Maybe that’s why Barnes has been gone for two we~~ -

Mr. Carter, I am sure, means nothing by his teasing, but it might be worth ~~kicking him in the shins~~ a word with him to politely suggest your relationship with Mr. Stornsnasson is off-limits for it. I think it may help in some small way.

Now: you appear to have at least a good grasp of the mechanics, which is an excellent start. The tricky part is people. Animals have the good fortune of natural cycles, whereas we are rather more complicated.

Mr. Stornsnasson appears perfectly willing to kiss you, but ~~is preventing you from initiating anything further~~ \- stops you when you try for anything more, and in my experience there are a handful of possible reasons for this. The most likely, to my mind, are:

  1. He ~~is reticent to compromise your virtue~~ \- thinks you may not be ready
  2. He is enjoying what you have and does not wish to hurry past it
  3. ~~He has some nicely dramatic tortured secret which would be excellent in a novel~~ \- There is something he hasn’t told you that he is afraid will make you think less of him
  4. He is simply not interested in such things



If #1, reassurances that you are a grown man, you understand about such things at least in theory, and know your own mind about it, may be necessary. ~~Shove him against a door and snog him into unconsciousness if you have to, to get that point across~~.

If #2, reassurances that you also appreciate what you have and that your desire to explore further will not endanger your affections may go a long way to assist. ~~Shove him against a door and snog him into unconsciousness if you have to, to get that point across~~.

If #3, f ~~or the love of all the gods find out what it is and tell me immediately~~\- reassure him that you are quite fond of him, all of him, not only his sterling qualities but also his flaws. We are all, I think, a little afraid of our loved ones finding out ~~precisely what dissolute and reprehensible scoundrels we have been~~ \- things we are less than proud of, but the truth is, if love is truly on the cards, those things are ultimately irrelevant. ~~Honestly, just shove him against a door and snog him into unconsciousness I promise it will get that point across~~.

In regards to #4, it may be a bit trickier, but that doesn’t have to be a problem. It does mean honest conversations about what is and is not something he wishes to engage in. Don’t assume in either direction. ~~Trust me on that I nearly buggered up my own relationship that way~~ \- Even if Mr. Stornsnasson does not generally seek out physical pleasures, he may very well be perfectly willing to do so with you specifically. ~~Such as shoving him against a door and snogging him into unconsciousness, you'd be surprised how well it works~~.

Any of these things are certainly worth talking to Mr. Stornsnasson about directly, if you are comfortable doing so. If not, you may try investigating more indirectly. Perhaps, the next time you are kissing, try opening his shirt again; if he stops you again, kiss his throat instead of his mouth. I understand that the hollow space just at the bottom, between one’s collar-bones, is especially sensitive. If he seems to enjoy it, tell him how much you enjoyed it, and suggest you might also enjoy kissing further beneath his shirt. See how he reacts to that.

Do ~~keep me apprised of your progress~~ \- let me know what you discover, and believe me that I am:

Yours in anticipation,

_Oscar Wilde_


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Mr. Wilde,

I told Mr. Carter I’d bake him a cake next Saturday if he promised to stop teasing Tjelvar. I also said you said he was an obstructive nitwit and that seemed to make him a little worried, so I hope I didn’t do anything bad. I’m sorry if I did. Only he has been very nice to Tjelvar after that.

I think maybe I wasn’t as frank as I said I would be in my last letter and maybe you misunderstood. When I said I have fooled around I meant I have done the business before, with two different people even, but it wasn’t difficult at all then. Oh I meant two different people at different times if I need to be clear about that. And it wasn’t difficult because it wasn’t serious. But with Tjelvar I want to do things right. I just say it to let you know that I think I am ready whatever Tjelvar thinks of it so don’t worry about that. 

I don’t know how to start finding out about these things except number 4 because I’m pretty sure he is interested in pleasure and I hope that’s what you mean when you say “such things” otherwise this might be a bit awkward, but we have been standing very close while kissing sometimes and it’s difficult to mistake that sort of hardness in his trousers for anything else. Unless he can have a hard-on and still not be interested? But I really think he is. 

Do you really think I should just go for his shirt again? If there’s a risk he won’t like it? I don’t want to do anything he doesn’t want to. I can see you have written several times I should shove him against a door and snog him into unconsciousness even though you have crossed it out, do you think I should try that? I just want to make sure I don’t make a mistake.

Give my love to Mr. Smith.

Awaiting your instructions, in gratitude of your patience,

_ Edward Keystone _


	8. Chapter 8

Dear Mr. Keystone,

I think, at this juncture, I have learnt enough about you at least, that I feel comfortable inviting you to use my given name. We appear to have drifted thoroughly into the territory of the familiar. Do call me Oscar, if you like.

Do you bake? How extraordinary. And I am thrilled to have been of some assistance in convincing Carter to behave. 

Additionally, I am  extremely grateful for the clarification regarding your experience - I feel this will make further advice much more helpful, and easier to dispense. My congratulations, incidentally, on your previous liaisons - I regard the followers of Apollo as some of the most aesthetically pleasing individuals one could care to encounter. Well done, you!

(Incidentally, might I recommend two people at the same time, should you ever have the opportunity. It does have its charms.)

With respect to #4, it certainly does seem that Mr. Stornsnasson is interested, if he ~~responds so tangibly to your affection~~ becomes aroused when you kiss. I think that means we can safely eliminate that fourth possibility from our list.

In regards to #1: you advise that you are perfectly ready for more intimacy, and give excellent evidence for it - have you apprised Mr. Stornsnasson of your previous experiences? Have a care if you decide to bring it up - while it is, I feel, extremely foolish to be jealous or otherwise displeased about a partner’s ~~previous liaiso~~ \- ~~prior conques~~ \- past lovers, it is something about which one should be cautious.

Which actually brings me to wonder - does Mr. Stornsnasson have any previous experience that you are aware of? It occurs that if he has not, that may be at least partly the ~~cause of his reticence~~ reason he is being awkward. One’s first time ~~is frequently a cause for apprehension~~ is often a bit nerve-wracking for a sensitive soul, into which category I somewhat fancy Mr. Stornsnasson falls.

~~Which, if true, means, alas, there is probably no nicely dramatic secret to be found, eliminating #3 from our list.~~

Regarding possibility #2: even if this proves not to be the actual reasoning for Mr. Stornsnasson’s delay, I have found it to be in general a helpful course to take. One always appreciates feeling treasured, and compliments rarely fail to satisfy, even when falling upon the most modest of ears.

I do not actually recommend the snogging option  yet  \- I thought better of that advice after providing it, hence the hasty crossing-out.

You might keep it in your back pocket, however, for emergencies. It is, after all, difficult to protest when one is breathless with desire.

My interest in your progress continues unabated; please do write again when possible to detail for me how the situation continues to unfold. I am most assuredly:

Yours in fascinated expectancy,

_Oscar Wilde_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can think of no other fandom in which I would be researching Victorian slang terms for an erection before 8 in the morning.
> 
> I love it so.


	9. Chapter 9

Dear  ~~ Mr. Wilde ~~ Oscar,

Thank you for your generosity and kindness in inviting me to address you by your given name. In return, please call me Ed. I’m glad you are comfortable with being informal when we write about such personal matters.   
  


I learned to bake during my time in the temple. I am certain of Apollo and his faith in me and that makes me a good healer or so the chief clerics of both medicine and rituals said, and I’m good at fighting, but I’m not so good at the book learning. They said I was not academically inclined and I’m not sure what that means entirely but it meant I could work with my hands more and I really liked baking. Especially cakes because you can make them pretty and also you usually get to eat them. I also worked in the stables a bit and the horses were really nice. 

I’m not sure what you meant when you wrote that bit about previous liaisons but you didn’t ask me a question about it so I hope it’s not important. And I don’t think I’ll try to be with two people at once now that I have Tjelvar because I only want him really. But thank you for the suggestion anyway. 

I tried to talk to Tjelvar about what he has done before and if he’s been with anyone in that way and I hoped that if he would tell me then I could tell him too. But we somehow ended up talking about something different and I’m not sure how that happened. So I couldn’t really find anything out or let him know either. So I tried to do as you said in the letter before your last one and kissed his throat while trying to unbutton his shirt and that went a lot better this time. I got four buttons undone and started kissing down his chest and he made very good noises and didn’t even try to stop me and then Mr. Carter knocked on the door to tell us that Cdr. Barnes had come back with the supplies. So I had to go help them unload everything and Tjelvar had to talk to Cdr. Barnes about something with the instructions from the museum that he brought. I feel like it’s not fair of me to be annoyed at Mr. Carter and so I try my best not to be. 

I want to try talking to him again but I am pretty sure he started talking about something else on purpose. I really think we should talk about it though. Like you said, it would be easier if we know why he doesn’t do anything more than kissing. Do you have any advice for me about that? 

I have kept your letters in my desk drawer but if you think I should keep them in my back pocket instead I will try to do that. But maybe just one at a time. 

Eagerly awaiting your response,

_ Ed Keystone  _

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

My dear Ed ~~ward~~ ,

Academia is overrated, I assure you; as far as I’m concerned not being academically inclined is an indication of good character. The ability to bake a truly excellent cake is a far more valuable skill.

Mr. Stornsnasson is a lucky gentleman indeed. One hopes that, whatever the cause of it, he resolves his reluctance posthaste to claim his good fortune.

By which I mean: if he knows what’s good for him, he’ll stop dithering and let you properly ~~fu- shag-~~ love him.

(I hope you can forgive my bluntness - ~~Mme Curie will insist on being an insufferable trial for my limited patience~~ it’s been rather a trying day and I find myself rather less inclined to good manners.)

Nevertheless - it is  extremely  encouraging that another attempt to get Mr. Stornsnasson at least partially undressed met with more success. I feel confident that had Carter not once again interrupted you may very well have made further progress still. (Incidentally, it is never inappropriate to be annoyed with Carter; “annoying” is his default state and he is quite lucky he’s so damned useful.)

I am increasingly curious to know why Mr. Stornsasson objects so to any actual conversation about the course of your relationship. There obviously  is  a relationship - he does not strike me as the sort to get so far as kissing without some attachment present - but his refusal to discuss it is intriguing. I encourage you to continue trying.

As ever, do keep me informed of your progress. I find myself unaccountably invested in this relationship. ~~A genuine pity about the threefold lovers, but it’s true that it’s not for everyone .~~

Enthusiastically anticipating your next letter,

 _Oscar_ ~~_Wilde_ ~~

~~~~Post-script: By "keep it in your back pocket" I meant: bear that option in mind, rather than discarding it wholesale, in case it ends up being useful after all. I apologise for my lack of clarity.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Advance warning to readers: 
> 
> We are veering into explicit territory and the rating will change within a chapter or two. Please take care to check the rating from here on.

Dear Oscar,

I told Mr. Carter that he shouldn’t disturb us last night because I was trying to have a conversation that he kept interrupting. He started teasing, but then I said he perhaps should do something about his relationship with Cdr. Barnes because they have been avoiding each other since Cdr. Barnes got back, I don’t know why. Mr. Carter looked like he was thinking a lot about that, so I tried to leave, but he then said he would make sure we weren’t disturbed if I would make him something called madeleines I think? I don’t know what it is but I think it’s some kind of cake and I could probably do that but I don’t have a recipe, and I don’t think I can find any recipes out here. So I would like to ask you to do me a big favour and it’s okay if you don’t want to and I don’t want to be a bother but I told Mr. Carter I would do my best. I think I have delayed him a little by asking him to describe them to me, but I don’t think that will work for long. 

Anyway. Mr. Carter and Cdr. Barnes didn’t disturb us and that was very good. Tjelvar came to my tent and we sat on the bed and we kissed for a bit, and then I said we should have a talk. He didn’t want to at first, but I pushed him down on the bed and sat on him so he couldn’t run away and he went very quiet and also very hard. So I think he liked that? We talked for a while before I got distracted but he said he has some experience and not all of it was something he cared to remember, and I told him that I have some experience and all of it was good, but not like it is with him. So I’m glad that we have talked a little but I still don’t know what to do. I got his shirt open all the way this time though ~~and he is really good looking and I want to lick him all over~~ and that is at least a little bit of a victory. Should I try to talk more or should I try to go further? I don’t think I can do more than one thing at a time because he is very distracting, both when he distracts me on purpose and when he doesn’t.

Awaiting your advice, as always,

Your friend,

_ Ed _


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Advance warning to readers:
> 
> We are veering into explicit territory and the rating will change within a chapter or two. Please take care to check the rating from here on.

My dear Ed,

Progress! Most excellent progress, in fact. Sitting on Mr. Stornsnasson to focus his attention was a brilliant gambit and I applaud your initiative ~~it was on my list of eventual suggestions, in fact, but I’d thought it a bit early to sugge~~ -. I am equally pleased that he reacted so favourably, both in physical terms and in allowing a conversation to take place, however ~~truncated~~ incomplete. ~~Particularly in physical terms~~. It indicates quite a hopeful direction for our hard work, if we can only discover and overcome the reasons for his reluctance.

I may be asking you to take a risk in this next bit of advice, but I suspect it may actually be more helpful. 

Sitting on Mr. Stornsnasson seemed to be quite effective, including noticeably arousing him. This may in fact be your best ~~vector of pursuit~~ chance at convincing him. I suggest beginning as you described, and rather than focusing on a conversation, focus on learning what he  strongly likes . I am certain I don’t need to tell you what sort of signals you ought to be watching for (although if I am incorrect, I am happy to provide detailed descriptions). Pay attention, focus on those things, and do your best to provide Mr. Stornsnasson with as pleasant an experience as he will allow.

(I am also certain I don’t have to remind you, but: please be mindful, of course, of his actual consent. Genuine objection should end all activities immediately.)

As for Mr. Carter.

Your handling of him was excellent, for all that he’s tried to redirect attention away from himself and the commander. Don’t let him bully you, Ed: requiring you to give him something he wants in return for what ought to be a basic courtesy is, in fact, extortion. My advice, if he presses the matter, is to suggest an ~~alternate transaction~~ a counteroffer: he will refrain from interrupting or otherwise interfering with your interactions with Mr. Stornsasson and you, in turn, will not inform Cmdr. Barnes of Carter’s attempt to manipulate you for pastries.

You mentioned a favour, but provided no details, and I am intrigued and of course at your disposal. Do advise what you had in mind and I shall do my best to provide.

Yours inquisitively,

_Oscar_


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating has changed. Please take care to check the tags.

Dear Oscar,

Thank you so much, I don’t know how I would have done this without your help. Once again your advice has been of great value.

I will be very frank with you because you are my friend, and also I don’t know if I can tell you about what happened in a delicate manner because I’m not good with words like you are. So I apologise if I offend you in any way and hope that you will still be my friend. And if you don’t want to know the details you can just not read the next bit, maybe?

I did what you said and tried to focus on what he likes. So I thought I know that he liked it when I sat on him. And so I crawled in his lap when we were kissing and then tipped him back on the bed, and then I kept kissing down his neck and between his collarbones like you said before, and he liked that. He was making the good noises and kept wriggling and got really hard, I could feel that even before I started opening his shirt and kissing down his chest. He kept wriggling in different ways, so I thought I’d go back up to check if there were any spots he liked more than others, and there was a spot right under his navel that made his hips twitch when I bit it. I was careful not to bite hard though. There was another spot in the middle of his chest where he has a scar and he made a growly noise when I licked it, so I asked if it was good and he said yes, many times, so I think it was. He has a lot of scars and I think they look really good on him. He looked really handsome when I came back up to his face, his hair was all messed up and his eyes were very dark, so I had to kiss him again, and then I tried opening his trousers which was a bit difficult without seeing anything, but I managed. I barely got to touch his dick before he grabbed my hands and flipped us over and rubbed against me until we both were spent. It was really good, even though you could say it was less than what I have done before, it was also more. At least more important. He asked if that was good after, and I told him it was very good and we kissed some more, and then he asked if he could stay. So he was still in my bed when I woke up and I liked that very much, almost more than I liked last night. I am very happy and I would like to know what you think. I would like to go further of course. Do you have any advice? Is there something I should think about or ask?

I am so sorry I wasn’t clear about the favour. Although I see you say that I shouldn’t give Mr. Carter any pastries so maybe you don’t want to, but now I’m a bit curious about these cakes myself. So I was wondering if you knew how I could get a recipe? I don’t know many people that I can write to like you. I could ask the cook at the temple the next time I’m in Cairo, but I don’t know if they know and maybe they have to ask one of the cooks in another temple and I don’t know how long it would take. But you know everybody, don’t you? So if you have any advice on where I could get a recipe for the madeleines that would be much appreciated.

About Mr. Carter, I think he has made up with Cdr. Barnes, because he has been much less curious about me and Tjelvar since I last wrote. Although they don’t ever let anything show when they are out among the rest of us. I wonder why they keep it such a secret. 

I remain in your debt,

Your friend

_ Ed _


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating has changed. Please take care to check the tags.

My  dear Ed -

You must imagine, as I am not there in person to demonstrate, the speed with which I leapt to my feet and applauded your success. I may even have cheered; to be honest it’s a bit of a blur.

And please under no circumstances think you must be delicate in what you tell me. I am, in that way, impossible to offend, I assure you. There are in fact entire novels dedicated to this precise sort of plot and description ~~many of which I am responsible for~~.

~~And beyond that all ye gods and little fishes  the image that conveys- ~~

What I think is this: you have done remarkably well. I believe I understand what you mean when you say “-it was less... it was also more”. I think it says a great deal that Mr. Stornsnasson asked to stay the remainder of the night. Generally that is a signal that one ~~is willing to pursue a more involved relationship~~ wishes to go further.

My advice: keep on this tack, as it has proven remarkably successful. I suggest opening the conversations you wish to have with Mr. Stornsnasson ~~post-coitally~~ immediately after you’ve enjoyed one another as you’ve described. I find one’s lovers are infinitely more willing to indulge one’s wishes when they’ve been ~~shagg thoroughly debau-~~

 ~~If I am going to encourage frankness I should exhibit it.~~

- fucked  to within an inch of their lives. It does wonders for one’s mood and inhibitions.

In summary: shag him senseless then talk to him. I suspect he’ll open up. As it were.

Additionally, I have good news wrt: the favour you asked of me. Mr. Smith discovered me ~~rifling through his cookbooks~~ researching your request and ~~threatened my life if I touched anything in his kitchen ever again~~ was good enough to provide the very recipe in question ~~as well as a lengthy exploration of how the process of milling flour has evolved over the centuries, possibly as punishment for invading his domain of the household~~. I have enclosed his transcription and the treatise with this letter, and I feel certain it will admirably meet your needs.

~~He’s never made madeleines for me~~

~~Is he losing inte~~

~~I love madelei~~

Please keep me informed, both of progress with Mr. Stornsnasson and with your madeleines! And do let me know if Mr. Carter ~~regresses~~ returns to interfering with you and your beau. I can always find a task away from his current assignment which immediately requires his expertise.

I live in great hopes of your success and look forward to toasting the consummation of your relationship.

Yours in expectant hope,

_Oscar_


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rating remains explicit. Tags are updated.

Dear Oscar,

I am very relieved I didn't offend you in my last letter, I got a bit worried after I sent it. I'm not always great at saying the right things and having good manners and such ~~even though my father did his best to beat it into me~~ so I was worried you might not want to write anymore. So I was even more glad than usual to get your letter. I won't worry about being delicate anymore.

I tried to follow your advice and go further, and I kinda thought I would take the lead as he hasn't really done that so far, but last night didn't go as I expected. He didn't come to my room, so I went to his, and he was writing some letters of his own but he was happy to see me anyway, and then when we were kissing on the bed he was all in charge. I don't know where that came from, but I really enjoyed it. He opened my trousers with his teeth, which I didn't know you even could do? It was really hot and he didn't mind that I nearly smacked him in the eye with my dick, which was lucky because I really didn't mean to. And then he sucked me off and it didn't take very long because how could it? It was so amazing, better than any of the other times. I'm not sure how he knew exactly what I liked and some things I didn't even know I liked myself, but even thinking about it now makes me want more. I tried to be good and warn him when I was about to shoot, but he made that growly noise again and it turns out that was really really good when I had my dick in his mouth, and also he grabbed my hips so I didn't really have a choice but to shoot in his mouth. The best thing might have been that he really liked doing it too, so much that he spurted all over my stomach with only a couple of pulls. 

I had planned to talk afterwards, but he kept stroking my hair and humming and everything was so good that I just fell asleep. And I slept in his bed all until morning and he wasn't mad that I hadn't asked first and that makes me really happy. 

I have not had time to try and make the madeleines yet, but I have looked at the recipe you sent me and it doesn't seem that difficult. To do it properly I need a special pan, but I'm sure I can get that the next time I'm in Cairo, and in the meantime they will taste the same in any other shape. 

Thank you for offering to help with Mr. Carter, but he has been very nice recently. He has hardly teased me at all and even offered to do the dishes. 

~~I hope it isn't rude of me to say~~

~~I know you have crossed it out~~

~~How do I~~

~~I hope you will accept my advice in return~~

  
Oscar. I'm going to be blunt. Have you told Mr. Smith you like madeleines? And have you asked him if he could make some for you? I have only met Mr. Smith very briefly but he seemed like a straightforward kind of ~~man~~ dwarf and I don't think he would mind making you something you like. He also seemed to love you very much even though he didn't say anything but I could see it from how he looked at you. So I don't think you have to worry. If you want to talk to me about your relationship just as I do with you I wouldn't mind at all. I would just be glad to help. 

Looking forward to your next letter,

_Ed_


	16. Chapter 16

Dear Mr. Smith,

I don't know if you know I've been writing to Oscar to ask him for advice about my relationship with Tjelvar, and I hope you don't think I'm rude for writing to you without a proper introduction, but Oscar seems to think you don't love him anymore because you haven't made him madeleines. I have gotten to know Oscar quite well through our correspondence, and I think he's been thinking too much about this and made a mess inside his own head. Those smart types do that sometimes, I've noticed. Anyway I'm sure you love him as much as ever and maybe you could just bake him those little cakes so he's happy again?

Respectfully,

_Edward Keystone_

Post-script: They are really very tasty, thank you for the recipe. 


	17. Chapter 17 - Zolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief answer from Zolf.

Hello Ed,

~~that stupid s~~ thank you for you letter. ~~what for the love of~~ I've taken your advice and made Oscar madeleines ~~even though he doesn't deserve them if he keeps being like that~~. Those smart types do that indeed sometimes ~~though what made him think _that_ is beyond me~~.

I'm glad you liked the recipe and that Tjelvar enjoys them. If you need more recipes I could send you a copy of the book, or if you're looking for it, it's Love Recipes from Love Books, Baked with Love by Harrison Campbell & Margaret Sim.

If you grow bored on your mission I can recommend you some more books from Harrison Campbell.

Zolf


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No change to the rating, wheeee, although in this case it's more by implication. 
> 
> And besides, they're married.

My dear Ed,

I apologise for the distinct interruption in our correspondence. Shortly after my last letter, I was ~~actually kidnapped by my actual husband and actually hauled off to the actual arse-end of civilisation and essentially held captive for an actual fortnight~~ firmly invited by Mr. Smith to take a holiday away from, as he put it, “too much breathin’ ink-fumes an’ not enough gettin’ sunshine”.

I trust I have received sufficient sunshine, as I have been allowed to rejoin polite society.

I suspect you will be pleased (or relieved) to learn that he has baked me some madeleines. ~~And croissants, and a lemon cake, and three kinds of pie, and macarons (a variety, in fact: coffee, lavender, hazelnut, vanilla bean...) he appears to have got it in his head that the way to my heart (and other areas) is through pastry; would you have any insight as to why this might suddenly be so?~~ The recipe is rather a good one, and I hope that you have been able to use it to equal success.

Although going by your last letter, things seemed to be moving quite successfully as it was - how fares the seduction of your charming young man? Is there progress, are there setbacks? Tell me all, Ed, for I fear I am woefully behind the times and that will never do.

Yours, as ever, in distinct anticipation ~~and a certain lovely exhaustion~~ ,

-Oscar


	19. Chapter 19

Dear Oscar,

I won't blame you for not replying until now, because it's clearly at least a bit my fault. You're a smart man, so I'm sure you figured out I wrote to Mr. Smith. I didn't mean anything wrong by it, but I didn't like you to worry about his affection, and it was a really simple solution. And I only asked him to make you madeleines, not to kidnap you. But you seem pleased about that, so I trust you're not angry.

A lot of things have happened while you were on holiday and I don't know if I can remember everything in one go, but I'll do my best. I will skip over the new graves we found and also a new entire house! ~~It's very exciting, I found a broken pot with beads and gold bangles and then I mended the pot by myself~~

Anyway. Tjelvar took care to hide the gold and jewels away from Mr. Carter in case he got ideas again and that reminds me. You remember how we wondered about Tjelvar's past experience and why he didn't want to talk about it? I finally got him to talk about it! But you probably want to hear about the circumstances too.

So when I last wrote you I had just spent the night with Tjelvar and it was really good. We have done lots more of that, mostly pleasing each other with our hands and mouths. I'm sure now that we want the same things, and I don't mind taking it slower. Although I hope we can go all the way in time. Maybe you have some advice for me on how to let him know I would like that without making him think I'm not happy with what we are doing now. Oh and another thing I would like to ask you ~~and I hope it's~~  
~~No wait you said it was okay  
~~~~Hm~~

You said to tell you **all** so I think you won't mind me asking. Sometimes I would like to take more time in pleasing him before he gets too impatient. I have told him that, but he has real trouble staying still. Do you have any ideas?

Oh yes, I forgot to tell you that sometimes right before he goes all growly and flips me over and I really like that a lot so it's not exactly a problem, in fact it's really hot, there aren't that many people who can move me at all because I'm quite big, and he just does that like it's nothing ~~and he's so strong and smart and handsome and~~

I'm sorry, I'll get back to the point. Sometimes right before he gets too impatient I can feel these little things on his cock, like small marbles, in a row along the underside? I don't know what they are, and they're not there in the beginning and not always, only when I've been trying to take my time. I asked him and he looked at me like he had no idea what I was talking about and I haven't been with any other orcs before so I don't know if it's a species thing or what it is? I don't think anything is wrong, because I tried healing when he had fallen asleep, but it didnt make any difference. Have you seen anything like that before? Do you know what it is? 

I have moved into Tjelvar's room now. It's lovely getting to wake up with him every morning. His room gets the sun in the mornings, so I am usually woken by Apollo and can do my prayers before going to make Tjelvar his morning coffee. He likes to sleep a little longer than me, so I usually take my tea outside and watch as the sun reaches our entire little valley. It's a good way to start the day, and almost feels like another way of praying. I think Apollo is pleased when I do that. Every morning has been sunny since I started drinking my tea outside, even though we sometimes get rain in the afternoon. Which is also good. 

I hope your vacation did you good, and that you appreciate Mr. Smiths baking efforts. Please give him my love as well.

Your friend,

Ed

_Postscript_

I completely forgot to tell you about Tjelvar's past experience! Please make sure this is just between the two of us, I think he's a bit embarrased. It turns out Tjelvar and Mr. Carter were at university together, and although they never were friendly, they once ended up at the same party and got drunk, and then had a one-time ~~what was the word~~ liaison. Unfortunately it wasn't very good, because Mr. Carter went off in about two pulls and then vomited when he tried to suck Tjelvar off. I thought this was very funny, but Tjelvar went a bit huffy when I laughed. Although he was pleased I didn't get angry, but why would I be? This was years before we even met. Sometimes I don't understand how his mind works, but that might be because he thinks too much. Anyway Mr. Carter apparently doesn't remember this at all, and Tjelvar doesn't want to let him know about it, so I have promised to keep my mouth shut. But I'm sure telling you doesn't count. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note: unbeta'd, and makes mention of decidedly AU erm... features. Hope you enjoy them as much as Ed is starting to.

My dear Ed,

I am not, in fact, angry. Far from it. ~~I was at first, a bit, but Mr. Smith’s argument that I should not be was quite convincing, and vigorous, and one does so appreciate an effort especially made for one’s own enjoyment~~

(While one generally cannot abide a parenthetical aside, as they are occasionally necessary, needs must: it may be difficult to believe, but I am also interested in things like broken pots and beads and houses previously undiscovered, and if you would like to tell more, you will find in me a ready ear.)

(Oh, all right, one more: Mr. Stornsnasson was, I feel, quite prudent in hiding the glittery things from Mr. Carter. Temptation is best avoided when it is entirely absent.)

Now, to the point! I do in fact have some ideas to help enable you to take your time with your beau. I have taken the liberty of sending, as a separate parcel, a few little items which I feel will ensure success (or at the very least a highly diverting evening). I have enclosed in this letter a series of diagrammed and illustrated instructions for the use of said items. Some of the knots are a bit tricky, and I thought it might be of benefit to get a few rehearsals in before opening night, as it were. I recommend practicing on something that is not a living creature when you are first attempting this, particularly the more complicated patterns.

Because, darling Ed, as delicious as it unquestionably is to be manhandled by someone larger (and believe me, I do understand the difficulty in finding someone able to manhandle appropriately!) there is something extremely satisfying about making that very same larger person wait for what they want.

To ask for it nicely, perhaps. ~~Beg, even - but that may actually be more appropriate for future discussions; let us table it for now~~

On the topic of the row of... well, actually, they are a bit like small marbles, aren't they? Hmm. I hadn't considered them in that light.

At any rate! There is indeed a handful of information that I can provide about this.

Firstly: it is, in fact, a “species thing”, and if Mr. Stornsnasson declined to discuss it, it may be a sensitive (ha!) topic for him - I suggest you take that slowly as well (although as always, I do encourage you to continue pursuing the conversation, albeit gently).

Secondly: it does take some effort to induce them, so I commend you on having done so more than once. ~~Honestly I’m a bit envious, I only managed the once over a vigorous and lengthy acquaintanceship with a rather delightful orc in my youth  
~~

Thirdly: they are... extremely sensitive. And their appearance generally means, as has been your experience, that he will be predisposed to taking the initiative in the proceedings, as it were. Bluntly: when an orc ridges, you had best be prepared for things to come quickly to a climax, in every sense of the word.

My advice: if you don’t wish to be summarily flipped over and pinned to the mattress, I suggest making sure you are very good with those knots before attempting anything of the like.

On to other things: I am delighted that you are sharing a bed together each night, now! That is a marvellous development and I couldn't be more pleased and proud. ~~I miss~~ Your daily breakfast with your god sounds - pardon the pun - divine. Tell Apollo hello from me, won’t you, some morning? It can’t hurt to be polite to a god, I feel.

And now.

And now.

Believe me, my friend, I will not breathe to another soul a word of Mr. Stornsnasson’s history with our own dear Mr. Carter - my days of doing the work of the gossip rags for them are long since over - but it is delicious to know a bit more about Carter’s history. I won’t break it to him, of course, although I cannot promise not to smugly smile at him and refuse to explain why, when next I see him ~~because I know for a fact that is precisely what I am going to do because what is the point in knowing things if one cannot flaunt it even a litt~~

Poor Carter. From what I have heard, his little problem with abbreviated proceedings has not improved much in the intervening years. ~~Although it has been suggested that he’s much more skilled at swallowing a coc~~ One hopes Barnes has discovered alternate means of ensuring a pleasant evening in each others’ company. I am certain of it; I can’t imagine Commander Barnes putting up with a subpar performance in any respect.

I have given Mr. Smith your love, and have been assured that there shall be a parcel headed your way as soon as he can sort out a reliable way to preserve pastry enroute.

Please do write again soon, particularly once you have had an opportunity to test the contents of the parcel from me. You should receive it shortly after this letter.

Ever intrigued,

Oscar


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags updated again! Please check you're still good to continue <3

Dear Oscar,

I'm glad you're not angry, and I'm happy to tell you about the finds we have made, but I'm sure you'd enjoy Tjelvar's writing on that more than mine. He knows what he's talking about. So I've copied out some of his documentation for the museum, and I will send you a copy of the research paper he's writing when he's done.

Thank you so much for the package as well! It arrived later than the letter, so I had to wait a week for it to come by the next supply cart. The instructions were really interesting, and I'm glad there were pictures, because some of the words I'd never seen before. I did what you said and practised on a rolled up blanket, but it was a bit difficult to get all of it to work with just one roll. At least when I was trying to work out how to tie up the arms as well. It was very lucky though, because Tjelvar and Mr. Carter had to go to Cairo for a meeting with the museum people, and Cdr. Barnes wanted to go with them. And Tjelvar was worried I'd be bored all by myself for nearly a week, but he also didn't want to leave the camp unattended for so long. I don't know if you recall, but there were a lot more people here when you came to see us, but now there are mostly the four of us. Sometimes the supply people stay the night, but we don't get as many visitors after that whole thing. And the new board at the museum is happy to leave Tjelvar in charge.

Anyway. They all left for Cairo and I had several days to myself, so I stitched two pillows to the blanket roll to make sort of a doll that I could practise with my ropes. It got a lot easier after I had tried a couple of times, but it was difficult in the beginning. I got the hang of it after a couple of days and repeated the most fun looking ones enough times that I didn't have to look at the instructions. I’m sure you won’t mind me saying that the patterns are pretty in a way I’ve not thought about before, and I think the red rope looks very pretty on Tjelvar. But I’m getting ahead of myself. 

I had a lot of time to practise, and when Tjelvar came back I was all ready to try them out, but he had missed me too much for patience that first night. And I’m not complaining about that at all, I love it when he’s all intense and close like that. But the night after I managed to ask Cdr. Barnes to keep himself and Mr. Carter to the other end of the dig, and I didn’t even have to tell him that I had special plans, he just nodded and smiled in that serious way he has. Cdr. Barnes really is very nice even if he doesn’t say much most of the time. So I had Tjelvar to myself and lots of ropes, and I told him what I wanted to do, and he was a little unsure at first. I don’t think he’s been tied up before. I haven’t either, for that matter, but it’s something I’d like to try. Tjelvar enjoyed it a lot though. 

I told him that I wanted to take my time like I told you, that I wanted to please him, and that I thought he might like it if he couldn’t take control halfway through. And then he said he trusted me and that I had to take off the ropes if he didn’t like it, and then I was sorry I hadn’t made that clear to start with, and he kissed me a lot and we nearly forgot the plans altogether. But I remembered when he tipped me back on the bed, and he was a lot more keen on the idea when he’d had time to think about it for a bit. 

I had decided on the harness with the diamond pattern for his chest, because it’s really pretty and a lot easier than it looks when you’ve practised a bit, and I did a nice column tie for his wrists to fasten his arms to the headboard. He liked the chest harness a lot, and even though he was a bit tense about the wrist ties to start with, he calmed down when I stroked his hair and told him how good he was doing and how lovely he looked all tied up for me. It was so good to be able to take my time like that, I could pay attention to all the little bits of him that we haven’t had time for before, like his throat and his ears (they are really sensitive too, did you know? Apparently that _is_ a species thing) and his nipples and all those little scars all over his torso. ~~He really should have had a healer with him all the time, some of those wounds must have been pretty bad~~

When I finally got to his cock he was making a lot of noise, so I was really glad I had asked Cdr. Barnes to keep Mr. Carter occupied. And those little marbles had started to show up again. They’re kinda pretty up close, now that I know they’re supposed to be there. I was curious, so i started playing with them, one by one. By the time I was halfway, Tjelvar was already begging me to let him come, and I really liked that, so I started to ask him about them. He only seemed confused though, so I stopped asking about that and started to ask him how it felt and what he liked, and he got so wonderfully frustrated that he only managed to growl. I liked that even more, and even though I felt a bit guilty about continuing to tease him, I couldn’t resist doing the same things with my mouth as I had with my fingers. It felt amazing, each marble getting harder and more pronounced with every stroke of my tongue, his voice as he was begging, the muscles in his thighs trembling against my shoulder. Everything was so good and I felt both powerful and humble by it all in a way I haven’t experienced before. Unfortunately that’s when the headboard broke from Tjelvar pulling on his ropes, and even though he was still bound at the wrists I felt I had better speed things up. I managed to get nearly all of him into my mouth (he is very large, and the ridge makes his girth impressive to say the least) and dragged my tongue hard over his ridge and he spilled down my throat immediately. 

I took off his ropes carefully and although he had a few burns around his wrists it was no trouble to heal them. He wanted the chest harness on a little longer, so I left it on while I brushed his hair and we talked about it. I told him how I liked to hear him beg and how I really enjoyed being able to spend more time making him feel good, and he told me that he really liked all that attention and not being in control. And then I said I wouldn’t mind doing it the other way round sometime, and he would like that too. 

I’m really happy with how it went even though I need to find another solution for tying his arms now that we don’t have a headboard anymore. Tjelvar also enjoyed it a lot and has added a cast iron headboard to our supplies list, although it might take a few weeks to get here. In the meantime I’m going to try some other things - maybe he won’t be able to break free if I tie his arms apart and out to the sides? What do you think?

If you want to know about it I can try to talk to either Cdr. Barnes of Mr. Carter about their relationship, but I feel like one is likely to say nothing and the other is likely to lie. Do you know what I could do to make them talk to me? I’d really like to get to know them better, but it’s difficult to get closer to either of them. I’m not sure why. 

Give my love to Mr. Smith,

Your friend,

Ed

Postscript:

I forgot to ask about the other things in your package! The book and the ropes were clear enough, but I don’t know what the wooden thing is. I thought it might be some kind of decoration, but it doesn’t seem like you would send that along with the rest. The metal thing feels like magic, but I’m not sure how to use that either. 

Postscript II:

I'm sorry this letter got so long, but I hope you won't mind too much.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tags updated again! Please check you're still good to continue <3

Ed.

Darling Ed.

You are- and if no-one has yet told you this you have been surrounded all your life by fools- magnificent _._ Simply and stunningly  superb, well  done, my boy!

I have read and re-read your letter a dozen or more times since it arrived, and each time I remain no less astounded by your resourcefulness and ~~frankly startling skill with descriptive text~~ excellent depiction of your efforts. Absolutely sterling work in all respects.

~~Have you thought about writing eroti-~~

~~You could publish under a pseudony-~~

It really was quite a stimulating read. He broke the  headboard? You are an extremely lucky man, my lord Edward Keystone, and once again I congratulate you wholeheartedly on the successful pursuit of your strapping archaeologist.

I find it endearing that he wished to keep the diamond harness on afterward; he  must have thoroughly enjoyed the entire process. I think you will as well, when you progress to the point at which he is comfortable reversing those roles (and I think that will not take long). You may, if Tjelvar has no familiarity with the ropes, offer him the use of your ingenious training dummy, as it served you so well to practise upon.

And that’s a thought…

Hmm. I may send a little care package to Cmdr. Barnes as well, now I think about it. Should I send anonymously, do you think, or sign it with my accustomed panache? I fear our dear Commander is not as refreshingly honest and frank about ~~anything at all~~ such things as you, and I am undecided which way that particular wind may blow.

By the by, Zolf wishes me to ask whether you received his ~~consignment of pastries~~ box of cakes? He worked out, he tells me, a delayed-release little cantrip designed to ensure they remained fresh until arrival, and wishes to know how both it, and the cakes, turned out.

~~Please, if you regard me as a friend at all, respond posthaste so he will stop fretting and I do not have to lovingly murder him in his sleep.~~

As to the other parts of my original parcel:

While the wooden item is indeed decorative, it is also functional. While slim and not very large, ~~a consideration of its shape may elucidate~~ take a look at the shape of it… in particular, examine the texture of the underside. I took the liberty of selecting one with similar attributes to your beau. You should be able to, with sufficient care, wear it for rather a while without ill effects, and the stimulation is, I have found, quite thoroughly distracting and highly pleasant.

Imagine Tjelvar discovering its presence one evening, with the lovely carven rose presented perfectly; imagine his face when it occurs to him that you’ve worn it expressly to be ready for him at a moment’s notice. It will, I feel, lead to a stimulating evening.

The second item is, you are correct, a magical one. It’s been imbued with a certain cantrip with which I am intimately familiar. It is a chastity preserver, although its ultimate goal is, of course, far from chaste. Think of it as a cage, to be locked around one’s private parts prior to ~~engaging in romantic pursuits~~ settling in for a lovely evening’s (or morning’s, or afternoon’s, or…) fuck. The spell activates when the locking mechanism is fastened, and provides a pleasant - and increasingly difficult to ignore - sensation similar to someone humming. The vibration is what I can only describe as provocative, and the impossibility of growing hard is intensely frustrating and ultimately, provides an unbelievably mind-blowing climax once freed and allowed to engorge properly.

It is not, I warn, to everybody’s taste, and should be considered a more advanced activity once you’ve been able to better determine one another’s inclinations.

I am, as always, thrilled to be able to offer any little advice and insights which I may, and I look forward to a further report of your progress. Once again, and as ever, do consider me:

Most delightedly yours,

Oscar W.

Post-script - I have enclosed a phial of something which you may find useful going forward, particularly if you decide to give the little decorative wooden toy a go. It’s of excellent quality, and remember: a little goes a long way! I know it seems rather a small supply, but I think you’ll find it will last you quite a while. Do let me know if you begin to run low and I shall happily send along more. I keep it in stock… Zolf is quite fond of the scent, among other qualities.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been forever since this one was updated, and I take all the blame on myself. I can only apologise, and hope you enjoy the (finally posted!) new chapter.


End file.
